The past few days I have been at Month One Debrief in Siem Reap, Cambodia staying at the AIM Overflow Guesthouse – which is consequently the same place I will be doing ministry for the next two months.
Debrief is a time to sit, relax, and focus on what The Lord has done over the past month. So I have been processing a lot of what God has shown me these first few weeks on the field. Here are some questions/answers that I have been dwelling on a bit…hopefully they will show you a little glimpse of what the Lord has been doing in my life so far!
- What was good?
The Lord opened my eyes to A LOT of things!! He made me dig deeper into my soul and find those secret sins that I didn’t even realize were hiding there. He taught me to bring kingdom wherever I am placed. He gave me a team of girls that I love so dearly and that love me right back (in the midst of my messiness and imperfection). He let me see healings. He gave me a deep desire and love for His Word. He let me meet amazing people and make memories that I will keep for a lifetime. He comforted me when I felt weak. He reassured me when I doubted this calling.
- What was hard?
Living in a small room and bathroom with 6 other girls (this is hard for a girl who loves to be organized and clean!!), the heat/humidity of Cambodia, no air conditioning, hundreds upon hundreds of bug-bites, being asked to let go of things I feel intitled to, no phones during the week, no wifi at home, not being able to talk to my parents whenever I wanted, bikes being the main mode of transportation
*I would like to point out, that yes these things were hard, but the Lord taught me so much about getting uncomfortable and the good that can come out of it*
- What did you learn about God and yourself?
I was recently reminded that I cannot do anything to earn my salvation. I have been saved since I was a young child, but sometimes I think being the “perfect Christian” will put me higher on the totem poll of Christianity, and make the Lord love me more. While reading through Leviticus, I learned of all the sacrifices, laws, and festivals the Israelites were required to do in order to be clean before the Lord, or even be allowed in His presence.
*side note: The Lord’s presence is available to us at all times and that is something I take for granted way too often*
God reminded me that my sacrifice has already been made when Jesus died on Calvary. It is finished. Nothing I have done or will ever do can make the Lord love me any more or any less. The sacrifice has been made and covers ALL of my sin – as well as invites me into a life of constant communion with God himself. The freedom that comes with this truth is astonishing.
- Is there anything you need to release to God?
My future. I don’t know what the Lord has planned for me when I get home…everything is unknown, but also in His hands. He has never failed me yet. God is teaching me to be fully present in the now. The present is a present. This is where He has called me to. Why waste this experience and miss out on what He has before me by focusing on the future?
- What truths can I carry into next month?
A theme that I have seen throughout this past month is the deliberate character of God. He is intentional. Everything is in His control and done for a purpose far beyond my understanding. When I struggled with my ministry, He reminded me that I was placed there for a reason. When I was homesick, He was with me in my hurt and reminded me that this is where I am supposed to be. When I get aggravated, He reminds me that these people are the body of Christ that He has intentionally placed together to bring His kingdom. When I doubted the power of my testimony, He told me that He has been with me through it all, and designed my life this way for a reason. Even everything I read in the Word showed His faithfulness to make Israel a great nation, even when they continued to fail. Everything that happens is in His hands, and I cling to this truth.
- What word(s) is the Lord speaking over this next month?
FREEDOM & IDENTITY.
This past month has shown a lot of growth, and has held some of the best experiences of my life so far. The Lord has continually been teaching me new things every single day, and I pray that you are being taught as well. I am so thankful for His abundant blessings and faithfulness. I hope that these truths can speak into your life as much as they have mine.
After reading this, it is obvious you are where you are supposed to be, doing what he has called you to do. Gracie, thank you for sharing so honstly. Praying the next two months God will lead you to new experiences that further his kingdom and bless you and your team!
God is intentional, what great words! Everything He does is for our good, even when we can’t see it or don’t understand it. That’s hard for everyone !! We only want what we think or feel is good, but God sees the bigger picture… love you so much and your heart for God. Many prayers for you and your team?
I love to hear of God’s faithfullness as we press in to him, he continues to show us that yucky stuff in our lives so we can give it to him and be more shiny for him. You are pressing into him and he is showing up in major ways. Keep look to him. He will keep revealing himself in new ways and giving you creative ways to love the people around you and to minister in the way he’s calling you to now. It’ll be fun to watch how he continues to move in you as you walk this adventure with him. Good job keeping your heart soft and your hands open for what he has for you.
The words you spoke about God being intentional jumped off the page to me! God is so intentional and so should we be also. I also was challenge to think about carrying God‘s presence and that we have access to it all the time. Why does it have to be in a dark room with a powerful worship song? Why does it have to be that we feel God‘s presence whenever we’re in a crowded room of people praying… We have access to and the opportunity to be carriers of God‘s presence in every moment that we live. Looks like you are growing and being so courageous on your journey! My little girl has asked about you a few times… Hey Mom- how’sthat girl that’s going to different countries for nine months? Is she using her oils? So I hope you used them for your million mosquito bites!
So much spiritual maturity is coming from you young lady. This is true faith on display. Very encouraging words. I know your parents are proud of you. I pray for your strength and safety as well as your companions throughout this missionary journey. God bless you.
Gracie,
My heart is exploding with joy for you! The deep river of joy is so much better than happiness! God is doing a mighty work in you and through you! You are doing great, even if you don’t always feel like it! Seek and you shall find. I keep thinking of the old song… Tis SO SWEET to TRUST in Jesus… Just to take him at His Word. Just to REST upon His promise… Just to KNOW “Thus saith the Lord!”
Jesus, Jesus, How I trust Him. How I’ve proved Him o’re and o’re. Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus… Oh for GRACE, to TRUST HIM MORE. One of my favorite hymns. May His great and powerful love fill you and overflow on everyone you meet. Your light is shining brightly, Gracie, and through that your are glorifying your Father!! Our prayers continue with you! ??
Fantastic update Gracie. I sure enjoy following along with you on your adventures. Your are daily in my thoughts and prayers.
Love your heart and how you have been pressing in to God during this fiest month.
You are planted where God wants you. Prayers. ..love you