I have been to three different continents, four countries, seven cities, and God has used each one to speak something new to me. The best way I can think to explain it would be:

I came on the race thinking that God was going to use me to change others lives, but He has changed mine more than I could have done anything for anyone else.

Cambodia: this was the first time I had been out of the country. I was living in a small bedroom with 6 other girls that I barely knew. There was no ac, and we slept on the floor in the humid Asian heat. You could say that I was really out of my comfort zone.

At the end of month one, The Lord spoke so directly to my heart. He revealed to me that I had a warped view of Christianity. I had grown up in the church, and I knew all of the “right” things. I surrendered my life to God my 7^th grade year at a youth retreat, and from that moment on followed Jesus. I did all the things that I knew a Christian was supposed to do. I woke up in the mornings and read my Bible, I worshipped at church, I invited people to youth group, and I made sure I didn’t do anything wrong…which obviously didn’t work out, but when I did mess up, I was sure to repent as soon as possible.

None of these things are wrong.

There is not one doubt in my mind that I was “saved” when I prayed that prayer six years ago and decided to let God move how He wanted to in my life. But by coming on the race, God decided to give me the gift of having that “AHA” moment I had been missing all of these years. I had been following Jesus because I knew it was the right thing to do. But I never really understood or grasped the meaning of Jesus sacrificing His life so that I could be offered the fullest. Everything I believed was head knowledge, and now it has finally reached my heart.

At this time, I learned that I had been striving for The Lord’s favor and believed that God picked favorites. I was missing the abundant, never-ending grace and love that is poured out on all of His children.

This leads to Ethiopia: in Ethiopia, I was basically cut off from society for 3 months. The Lord really used this time to strip me of more comforts (by losing my cellphone and favorite pillow) and put my focus completely on Him. I realized that there were more layers to my striving problem, and I didn’t believe that God actually loved me as His daughter.

This realization led to 3 months of passionately pursuing God’s love for me as an individual. I understood Jesus’ sacrifice (as much as we can as humans) and I have read time after time of the love that God sheds onto His children, but I wanted so desperately for my head knowledge to reach my heart. I actually started a “Love Journal”…every morning I would wake up and ask God to show me His love in a new way that day. At the end of the day I would write down what He showed me. Sometimes it would be through other people, sometimes it would be through reading The Word, sometimes it would be through stillness, sometimes it would be through nature, sometimes it would be through loving on others...the possibilities are endless, and He never disappointed.

And somewhere in those 3 months, my heart started to grasp the love of the Father, and I believe that if it was only me left on this earth, He still would have become a man to die on the cross so I could spend eternity with Him.

Nicaragua:  here we had one of my favorite ministries on the race. Prayer walking. We would split into groups of 3 or 4 and do house visits. This allowed us to get to know the people of Granada and their stories, as well as share Jesus with them and give them some much needed hope.

I had understood the love of God, but now I wanted to love Him back. I realized that the only way I could even show Him a little bit of the love that He deserves is by following His commands and doing what He says. I would ask God to give me things to share with people, and let the Holy Spirit lead and guide me in when to share and who to share with.

I also had to deal with some feelings of fear and guilt. Sometimes God would lay it on my heart to talk to someone and I would be too scared to, or I would be embarrassed. Through these times, God continued to reassure me that He would be with me and speak through me. He was faithful to continue to give me opportunities and chance after chance, even when I would fail Him.

I also had to reevaluate why I was doing what I was doing. Was I wanting to share so that others would see me and be impressed? So that I would be known as the “knowledgeable, Spirit-filled Christian”? Or was I doing it because I loved God so much that I wanted to show Him affection by following what He says?

Costa Rica: oh Costa Rica. My last country. God taught me a lot about the Church. He has redefined for me what the Church is supposed to look like. The Church of Acts. I have learned a lot about how the Church is the bride of Christ. I have learned about community and how important it is to be surrounded by solid, Christian people. And how I am supposed to go home and not settle for anything less than what He has for me, and what He says we should be as His children.

I have fallen in love with the children at my ministry. He has revealed to me my passion for discipleship, and has given me a small glimpse of what my future will entail. He has prepared my heart for returning to the States. His promises will prevail and I can’t do anything to change that.

Although this 9 month journey is coming to an end, the World Race Gap Year was just the beginning. I can hardly contain my excitement to come home and do life with Jesus. To listen to His voice. To follow His call. To wake up every morning to His overflowing love and spend my day sharing that with others.

I have learned so much. It would take hours and hours to write out all that God has shown me the past year. But I have just received a taste of what is to come. I have just dipped my toe into the sea of glory that is to be revealed.

Thank you all for following me and supporting me on this journey. There is so much more awaiting us as Children of God. Don’t be content with staying where you are!